This. This means so much to me right now.

The last couple of weeks (or months) have been a living nightmare, but then again - it’s all perspective right? 

I got into a car accident today. Some lady basically drove into my car while I was stopped, like head on, eye contact and everything. I was so angry,I’m supposed to be driving back to California like basically now and this happens. 

But when it happened and I was waiting to breakdown and lose it all, I felt calm. I kept waiting and waiting for the anxiety to take control of my mind and body and be done for but it didn’t happen.

One of my biggest fears happened today and I survived through it, emotionally and physically. That’s how I know that I can change and it’s all perspective. 

A lot of bad things have already happened in 2012 but in the weirdest way, I’ve handled it. While others looking at my situation are going “I can’t even imagine how you feel” I actually felt okay. I couldn’t say the same for how I felt in 2011 but I guess it’s all perspective, a clean slate, take from it what you will but I think the new year actually means something. 

The same horrible shit is still going to happen to you, but you finally have this chance to make it all different. 

I feel like it’s almost this huge life test for me. ‘How bad do you really want it?’ Nothing in life comes easy, even when it’s the right thing (especially if it’s the right thing) but it’ll be worth it, and I want it bad.

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